divorce is not always the way
Save your marriage

7 Tips on How to Save Your Marriage

We discussed the option of marriage counselling. So what other solutions could you look to?

I sat down with a tremendous marriage counsellor near me and compiled a list of ideas and suggestions which you could consider.

 

  1. Communicate

There are two integral parts to this. The first is to listen to your partner.

It is very important that you show them that you respect their thoughts and opinions by putting time aside to really listen to their thoughts and feelings.

This can help you to really understand what is wrong in the relationship, in their opinion. There may be elements that you do not wish to here. However there may be things which are easy for you to change or alter in order to make them happier.

Once the problems are laid out, it can give a fuller understanding of the deep issues within the relationship.

Communication really is one of the major causes of relationship breakdowns.

The second part of this is to express to them how you feel. After all, communication works both ways.

You need to understand their feelings, thought and concerns. Just as they need to understand and hear yours.

This period of communication is designed to be open and honest, but also constructive rather than critical.

 

  1. Find Common Goals

Understand common goals that you both share can go an awful long way to saving your marriage.

When you are both agreed the direction you wish to head in, you can help each other to stay on track.

The key here is to agree goals that are acceptable to you both. As you both need to be in full agreement to make this work.

For example one could be that once a month you go on a date, just the two of you. Really make an effort and try to do something intimate and special.

If only one was in favour of this then it would work.

Perhaps you each want something slightly different. If compromise is willing to be made on both sides then this can go an awful long way to showing each other that you really do care.

 

  1. Be willing to compromise

This leads us very nicely into our next point. Whether your relationship succeeds or fails, compromise will play a huge role in determining this result.

You and your other half will each have different needs. Are you willing to accept this and accommodate these?

Putting yourself out to benefit the other person can really show that you do care and that you are willing to consider their needs.

Focusing on yourself more than your partner will create distance, barriers and also resentment. However if you are both willing to find middle ground then this is a very solid platform to build upon.

Remember that this compromise must not be one sided. It must work both ways.

 

  1. Don’t use blame

It goes without saying but this is a very unhealthy mind-set to have. Blaming someone for a problem will only breed negativity.

By all means discuss issues and explain how they make you feel; but do not be negative by directing blame.

This can cause by resentment and disconnection.

The point of blaming another can often come from one of two things. Lack of communication or unrealistic expectations.

Ensure any conversations about the above are productive and controlled. After all we are trying to find a solution here, not make the problem worse.

 

  1. Be spontaneous

Think about how it makes you feel when someone does something nice for you. Then think about how extra special that is when it is completely random or out of the blue.

Could you carry out a completely random act of kindness to show the other person that you do care.

Perhaps something that you would have considered doing when you first met.

Think back to that romantic stage and think about whether that feeling can be rekindled.

It is so easy to simply fall into a routine, so try to break that up and do something special.

You just might make their day; and go a long way to saving your marriage.

 

  1. Forgiveness

This is something a lot of people struggle with. Perhaps it is because it is so very hard to do.

Or maybe perhaps they see it as a sign of weakness or backing down.

Just remember that it takes a very strong person to forgive. You do not always have to forget, bacuase those memories can shape the person you are. However you will need to look past it if at all possible.

The inability to forgive can be a huge barrier when it comes to attempting to save a marriage. As well as being a huge cause of marriage breakdown in the first place.

 

  1. Take some time out

 

Although often viewed as a last solution, consider spending some time apart.

Often when things are tough, we find it hard to see what we actually have right in front of us.

We can take each other for granted and forget what we have.

Spending a little time apart can help you to see what brought you together in the first place.

That time alone with your thoughts can remind you what it is about that person you would miss the most, as well as how much they mean to you.

So if you think this solution may help save your marriage, it has surely got to be worth a try.

It is however recommended that this stage is agreed together. Think about how long a period you both may require, or agree to be flexible to each other’s needs.

All of this information will be discussed with you at marriage counselling sessions. If you have not found a counsellor to support in saving your marriage, then search for marriage counsellor near me to find the right professional for you.

The vows of marraige should be respected
Marriage Counselling Introduction

Relationship Solutions

Introduction to Marriage Counselling

From when we were toddlers, we have been inundated by stories, television shows, movies that all legitimize the myth that once we find our soulmate.

Any underlying relationship issue should disappear due to the specious inevitability of eternal happiness.

However, falling short of this grandiose ideal has motivated couples to seek outside help like counselling, repeatedly googling marriage counselling near me.

This article explores several core aspects of marriage counselling. These hopefully empower those who are struggling to mitigate issues poisoning their marriage.

Or even those, to take a proactive approach to improving this sacred union through marriage counselling.

 

Who needs marriage counselling?

Marriage is arguably one of the most dynamic family institutions, morphing into several distinct iterations as we navigate various stages of life.

In this fashion, marriage counseling services cater to a diverse set of relationship needs.

Systemic reviews of marriage and relationship programs supported by the US Department of Health and Human Services outlines intra-family communication. Dissonance in parenting strategies, conflict in career advancement between partners.

As well as financial management obstacles as subset of pervasive issues motivating couples to pursue counselling options.

In a nut shell, you are a perfect candidate for this counseling in case you are a victim of any of the issues outlines above.

 

Signs that you need marriage counselling

To the points above, there obviously exists a gamut of factors driving people to marriage counselling.

Still, there are numerous issues. Apart from parenting, finances, or communications. What might motivate me to consider searching for marriage counselling near me?

Dr. Samantha Rodman, who specializes in the psychology of marriage as a couple’s therapist, has logged various underreported reasons to seek marriage counselling:

1. Problems with the in-laws. Sure, the last thing you want to acknowledge is that your in-laws have legitimate influence over your marriage.

However, if you find that you and your spouse routinely argue about your in-laws, this may break down notions of respect for the partners of loved ones.

2. Animosity towards your partner. It (quite literally) goes without saying that many of the ways we communicate as humans is non-verbal.

So even if you believe that you and your spouse communicate quite well, any underlying animosity is not sustainable and could serve as a harbinger for a deteriorating marriage.

3. Sex!(Or lack thereof). Yes, our bodies change as we get older. C’est la vie!

However, when you lose any notion of the slightest desire to physically engage with your partner.

It may be worth it to seek outside help to clarify from where has this loss came. As it may be more than just hormones.

As a matter of fact, sexual deprivation accounts for a huge percentage of broken homes.

Which is why marriage counseling should be sought as early as the first signs of a deprived sex life emerge.

 

Other signs

4. Conversations revolve around the kids, and the kids only. Yes, of course, it is remarkable to share a bond with someone that promotes the well-being of your children.

However, even if you consider your role as a parent to be the most important part of your identity.

That still does not cover your role as a spouse, colleague, community member, friend, sibling, etc. The dynamism of our identities is beautiful.

Having a partner that embraces this dynamism fosters a sustainable marriage.

5. Your loved ones adapt to your constant fighting with your partner. Some fighting or bickering is obviously normal in any long-term relationship.

Although what often flies under the radar is when your loved ones become immune to your incessant bickering with your partner.

Especially for children, this may severely damage their ideas of what a healthy relationship looks like in their eyes.

 

Kinds of marriage counselling available

Luckily, the manifold issues that may drive someone to seek marriage counseling has given rise to an even more diverse array of services and therapy models that can be uniquely tailored.

In fact to nearly any situation. We have bulleted several kinds of services below:

· Couples’ Sessions. This is when a certified counsellor or therapists serves as a kind of arbitrator.

The counsellor may suggest healthier strategies to communicating in real-time. As well as provide alternative perspectives that legitimize the problems within a marriage.

· Group Therapy. Even for issues outside of marriage, feelings that we are alone in our struggles.

· Religion-Based Counseling. If you are a religious person, or are simply open to other narratives to more clearly engage with the issues damaging your marriage.

Then consider becoming active in a faith-based community near you.

 

Services for non-married parties

As a child of divorce, I feel a need to underscore how strongly marital issues shape the outlook of immediate family members.

Obviously, I could not fully understand the myriad of issues that both my parents were confronting.

However, I urge anyone considering marriage counselling to be open to providing therapy for children or loved ones to provide a safe space for them.

Or consider family therapy, where your children may feel that they are legitimate stakeholders

Either way, clarity for all loved ones is key to success after counselling.

 

Importance of Marriage Counselling

Acknowledging issues threatening the viability of your marriage and seeking out counselling services may yield countless benefits for each party involved.

You may feel more empowered that you are taking a proactive approach to sustaining a commitment to someone you care about.

You may feel further empowered that you are exemplifying behavior that you believe your children should emulate. Especially when confronted with these kinds of issues.

Beyond your own empowerment, both you and your partner may feel more valued. Especially as the process of marriage counselling progresses.

This may ultimately give rise to a myriad of psychological benefits that may be more conducive to practicing healthier habits of communication.

Along with the confidence to deal with issues as they arise, rather than letting them fester.

With that said, even if you feel that your marriage may be perfect, there may be unspoken issues gnawing at the ostensibly stable foundation of your marriage.

Rather than sit back and passively wait for these problems to subside.

I hope this information serves as a call to action for all married couples to at least consider marriage counselling, to pick up that computer and google: marriage counselling near me.